The language you use, or don’t use, can have a significant impact on how others perceive you as a leader. As an executive coach to tech leaders, I often work with professionals who are trying to bolster their confidence and improve their influence. My goal isn’t to make them become someone they’re not. It’s to help them slow down and be mindful and intentional with their language so they come across as more confident executives and storytellers.

While there’s no quick fix to refining your communication, the following are common phrases to stop using if you want to be perceived as a more confident leader.

1. “I think…”

It’s already clear that what you’re about to share is your thought. You can skip “I think…” and simply say what you mean. You can throw “I believe” and “I guess” into this bucket, too.

The phrases water down your credibility and weaken the true power of your message. State your ideas directly and confidently so the listener’s attention is on the substance of your story, not your qualifier.

2. “I might be wrong, but…”

Confident leaders don’t pre-defend or pre-apologize for their ideas. They own them. This phrase communicates self-doubt before you even finish your sentence.

Instead of hedging, confidently share your perspective while recognizing there might be others. This might sound like, “One perspective to consider…” or “We might try…”

3. “I’m sorry, but…”

Combining an apology with a request diminishes both. Be clear with your request. For example, “I have a request.” Directness is a gift for both you and the receiver.

You’ll notice that both this and the previous phrase have a “but” in them. If your statements or requests often include a “but,” it’s worth re-exploring to see how you can state what you need to say more confidently.

4. “To be honest…”

Many speakers use filler phrases like “To be honest” when speaking. While well-intentioned, it can imply that everything else you’ve said is less honest and call your credibility into question.

I recall my middle school history teacher would interrupt presentations whenever someone said, “To be honest.” He would ask, “Were you not being honest up to that point?” It’s filler language that isn’t necessary. Say what you mean.

5. “Does that make sense?”

It’s helpful to check in with your audience to ensure they understand your message. However, “Does that make sense?” isn’t the most effective way to do this.

I find women executives use this phrase significantly more often than men, inadvertently questioning their credibility and shrinking their confidence. I’ve yet to have someone who’s not making sense ask this question. Instead, create an environment where people feel comfortable speaking up if you’re being unclear, without being invited.

6. “No worries if not…”

This is a common people-pleasing phrase that diminishes your authority and influence. Similar phrases like “I’m happy to do whatever,” “I’m flexible” and “If that works for you” can be eliminated. As an executive, you must be flexible — and you need to show that you have a perspective worth listening to. Otherwise, there’s no reason for you to have a seat at the table.

This doesn’t mean you can never use these phrases, but you do want to be mindful of your intention and how your listener will perceive you when you do. Such statements often derail your story and weaken your authority.

Practical tips to elevate your executive communication and storytelling

Please know that I’m not encouraging you to sound robotic. Everyone has their unique style and flair. That said, being mindful of your language will help you be perceived as a more confident leader. Moreover, cutting these phrases will allow you to focus on sharing your unique voice, not hiding behind qualifiers or apologies.

Start by slowing down. Take a breath between sentences or key points. This strategy not only minimizes the use of filler phrases but also helps you keep your thoughts focused. It also demonstrates confidence and conviction in what you’re saying. Watch any great professional speaker and you’ll notice they tend to be slow, methodical talkers who carefully choose their words.

Auditing your speech is one of the best ways to further improve your communication and storytelling skills. Record yourself speaking, then watch the recording back three times:

• Audio only: Listen to the audio in isolation to review your use of filler words.
• Video only: Watch the video alone to take note of your visual habits.
• Audio and video combined: Watch the video with the audio to take note of your confidence level and overall presence.

Don’t aim for perfection. While completing my doctorate in education, one of my professors suggested keeping the “umms” in videos to bring humanity to the presentation and build a connection. You’re a human after all, not a robot.

Feedback is a powerful tool for improving your communication skills as a leader and coming off more confidently. Not all feedback is equal, though. Ask specific, actionable questions. Instead of asking, “How was my presentation to the board?” you might inquire, “I’m working to eliminate filler words. Did you notice me use any, and if so, which ones?”

Remember that improving your communication, confidence and storytelling skills as an executive is a career-long process. You’ve got this!

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