I Never Ask My Team to Change — I Ask Them to Grow. Here’s Why It Works.

Some people try to grow by leaving their past behind. They constantly rebrand or reinvent themselves. They replace previous versions of who or what they were with new ones that they think will be more successful.

But you can’t keep growing if you’re hitting the reset button every few years.

In my role as CEO for PhoneBurner and ARMOR®, I’ve always tried to use the past as a foundation on which to build future success. My years of experience in the telecom world and my lifelong obsession with technology were what prepared me to lead a power dialing platform. In turn, that experience led to developing a call deliverability solution that helps legitimate outbound teams avoid false spam flags.

I didn’t change at a fundamental level as my career progressed. I just became more of what I already was: curious about technology and interested in helping people reach each other.

And what applies to me also applies to anyone who works for one of my companies. I never ask people to leave behind what makes them effective or authentic. Rather, I only ask them to recognize what that is and lean into it.

Here’s how that’s helped me grow our business without compromising anyone’s culture, integrity or core values.

The past can be painful, but that doesn’t make it useless

I’ve been adamant for most of my life that adversity is one of the greatest teachers. This is not exactly an uncommon sentiment. In fact, it’s so common that it’s even become a punchline in newspaper cartoons — I’m thinking of the dad from Calvin and Hobbes, whose favorite piece of advice to give seems to be that suffering builds character.

But people often forget that hardship can continue to teach you for years after you first experience it. Our tendency is to put pain from our past behind us as soon as possible. Some people move away from the towns where they grew up and never speak to those old acquaintances from their youth again. Others throw away old journals because they’re embarrassed by thoughts or feelings they previously expressed when they were in a more vulnerable state.

When we do that, those experiences lose their ability to continue teaching us. And we can no longer grow from them.

I’m not saying you need to stay best friends with everyone you’ve ever met, or hoard notebooks in your attic. I don’t do those things, and I certainly don’t expect my team to do them either. But I also never try to block failure from memory, whether it’s failure on my part or a failure by someone else. Forgiving a bad decision helps people grow past it, but forgetting often dooms them to repeat it down the road.

Years ago, a broadly worded FCC notice related to one of our customers led to a significant disruption across our entire platform. Even after we took immediate steps to remove the issue and mitigate its impact, the effects were widespread. It was an unfortunate moment, but it also clarified something for us. Responsible communication had always been a core part of how we built PhoneBurner, and in the aftermath, we leaned into that commitment even further, strengthening our processes, our platform and our voice in the space.

This ultimately made PhoneBurner stronger and more appealing to our user base — an advantage we would have sacrificed had we just decided to move on and put the whole thing behind us.

The formula for growth: Maintaining consistency while improving accountability

Change is easy to understand. It’s starting over from scratch. It’s switching gears. It’s throwing out the entire playbook and writing a new one.

Growth isn’t so black and white. Whether you’re trying to grow a business or a single person on your team, you’re asking for some things to stay the same while others develop. The question is: How can you tell what has to stay and what has to evolve?

I have one simple rule that helps make this distinction clear. Anything that feels purpose-aligned is part of my identity that needs to remain. If something strengthens your ability to deliver on your purpose, it’s worth leaning into, even if it’s uncomfortable or unfamiliar. But if it pulls your focus in a direction that doesn’t serve that purpose, it’s probably not growth at all. It’s just a distraction.

The purpose-aligned parts of my identity can continually be improved. I do that by setting routines designed to help me form better habits, like dedicating 30 minutes a day to reading industry white papers or about advancements in AI while I’m having my morning coffee. This doesn’t change who I am or the goals I have, but it gives me a measurable way to assess how I’m progressing towards those goals. I remain consistent, but I become more accountable. This improves my performance without endangering my focus.

Empowering others to grow themselves

I’ve taken this kind of inventory of myself many times throughout my life, and I encourage the people around me to be similarly introspective. What I avoid, unless it’s absolutely necessary, is performing that kind of analysis on someone else when it hasn’t been expressly solicited.

Telling another person the best way for them to grow has risks, even if you happen to be right. You’re focusing their attention on one potential pathway to progress, which might prevent them from noticing others. In doing so, you’re also taking on some responsibility for whether they succeed or fail.

So when I do performance reviews, I don’t sit people down and tell them what I think of their work. I ask them to reflect on our shared values and talk to me about how they feel their work is aligning with them. When there’s misalignment, I ask them to tell me how they plan to address it and measure the impact of their efforts. This helps them remain consistent in their role while becoming more accountable — not only to me and the company, but also to themselves.