54 Funny Retirement Gifts That Will Make Everyone Laugh Retirement is a time to celebrate! You’ve worked hard for years, and now it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. The question is, what do you get the...

By John Rampton

This story originally appeared on Due

Retirement is a time to celebrate! You’ve worked hard for years, and now it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. The question is, what do you get the person who has everything? Choosing a humorous retirement gift shows them you care about them and you are thinking about them.

Laugh out loud with these 54 funny retirement gifts.

1. Personalized Retirement Newspaper

Printed on an abrasion-resistant canvas surface, this personalized spoof newspaper cover is a truly unique gift. It comes with a personalized image, as well as dates and events of their employment. Add their name, company name, job title, years of service, or retirement date to the headline and caption.

An ideal gift for a retirement party commemorating someone’s career. Plus, you can’t beat the price tag at just $16.95.

2. Retirement Business Cards

What would make your friends, family, or colleagues smile during your retirement? You can’t go wrong with these retirement business cards.

These hilarious cards offer a professional and light-hearted design you won’t find anywhere else. Designed to give a good laugh to colleagues, friends, and family on retirement day. A pack of 50 cards costs $7.

3. DayClock

In retirement, who cares about the time? Keeping track of the DAY is the most important thing. This is where day clocks come into play.

Every week, the single hand rotates around the face of the day clock. There are markers for noon and midnight on each day. Overall, anyone lucky enough to own this wall-mounted clock will enjoy a daily chuckle whenever they see it.

4. Oh, Look It Looks Like I Don’t Give a Damn O’Clock Koozie

In retirement, retirees sometimes enjoy a nice cold beverage. This set of two koozies displays the carefree attitude of the person holding the drink now that they’re retired. Plus, it’s a practical gift that will make them laugh whenever they use it.

5. Retirement Pillow

Clearly, this to-do list summarizes her retirement! With an invisible zipper, the pillow cover measures 17.72×17.72 inches and is made from cotton/linen. FYI, this is the pillowcase and not an actual pillow. But, that does make it easier to clean.

6. Officially Retired from the Crap Coloring Book

Retirement is more of a time for readjusting for the retiree. With this extra time, they can try out new things — including coloring like a 5-year-old.

This retirement coloring book will bring your favorite retiree back to his or her childhood. More importantly, there are numerous benefits of adult coloring including easing anxiety, improved motor skills, and better brain function. Plus, it can be a welcome distraction to combat boredom.

7. Retirement Weekly Schedule Mug

How does the new retiree plan to spend their time? Whatever they want.

Retirement coffee mugs always make great gifts, especially if they say something witty or humorous. The retirement coffee mug serves as a reminder that they have no agenda other than their own.

8. Gagster “Over The Hill” Hearing Enhancer

When you’re looking for a funny retirement gift, nothing beats the Gagster “Over The Hill” Hearing Enhancer earhorn.

A hilarious retirement party favor, this gift is perfect for anyone who wants to celebrate their retirement with some fun. Obviously, this won’t work if someone retires early. Whatever the case, it comes in a variety of colors and costs $15.

9. You’re Only Old Once” Book

There’s only one chance to be young, but there’s only one chance to be old as well! In this delightfully illustrated book, Dr. Seuss perfectly captures the whimsical magic of aging.

10. Accoutrements Emergency Underpants

You can’t go wrong with Accoutrements Emergency Underpants if you’re looking for an amusing retirement gift. These underpants make a great retirement gag gift and are priced at just under $7. Aside from that, they’ll come in handy if anything unexpected happens.

11. Wine Down Wine Rack

Those looking for retirement gifts for someone who enjoys wine will love this Time to Wine Down wine rack. In all likelihood, they will drink more wine now that they are retired. However, it does cost over $40.

12. Official Retirement Papers Toilet Paper

This roll of toilet paper is yet another in a long line of ridiculous gag gifts.

In addition, it’s 3-ply, so you’re at least giving comfort when the retiree has to go to the bathroom. As such, there is some value in this gift besides sitting in a closet for years to come.

13. Officially Retired Eye Mask

Naps are synonymous with retirement. Because of that, funny gifts like this are likely to be used frequently.

No matter if their grandchildren are visiting or their significant other is trying to persuade them to do housework, this mask will keep them from being disturbed.

14. I’m Retired, You’re Not T-Shirt

A T-shirt like this is the perfect way to show you care about your favorite retiree. The shirt humorously reads, “I’m Retired, You’re Not. Have Fun At Work Tomorrow.” It comes in 16 different colors, including several tie-dyed options.

15. Work Will Suck Without You Makeup Pouch

‘Work Will Suck Without You’ is a cute, practical, and touching purse/tote. You can give this gift to your best work friend when she is leaving, and you want to show how much you care about them without getting too mushy.

In short, this makes for a perfect retirement gift for women.

16. I’m Retired, Go Around Me Bumper Sticker

You won’t find a better retirement gag gift than this bumper sticker. After all, it’s a cool and funny way for the retiree to let others know that they’re out of the rat race. Made of durable vinyl, the sticker can be used inside or outside.

17. Senior Moments Aging Disgracefully

Age Disgracefully removes the shame and stigma of aging and makes it enjoyable. Those over the age of 65 will be giggling at the illustrious in this book. And, it’s under ten bucks.

18. Memory Mints for Senior Moments

These Memory Mints for Senior Moments are the perfect retirement gift. You’ll have the retiree laughing whenever they enjoy these tasty treats. Plus, the mints are under $6.

19. 101 Fun Things to Do in Retirement

It’s no secret that retirees have a lot of free time. It’s an entertaining read whether or not you’re retiring because it gives them a bucket list of fun things to do, like their dream adventure.

20. Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension Candle

Aromatherapy is a wonderful gift to give someone who is retiring. There is nothing better than being swept away to some tropical paradise where the drink flows freely, and no worries exist — including the daily grind or financial woes aside.

21. “Dad Jokes: The Terribly Good Dad

Those who have recently retired will find this book useful in regard to dad jokes. He will now have plenty of time to generate fresh content since he is no longer employed. In short, this would make an ideal retirement gift for men.

22. Do Not Disturb, I’m Retired Lounge Socks

When were you a child and did your grandparents give you socks for Christmas? You might want to channel them when you buy these socks for your favorite retiree.

With retirement all about relaxation, comfort, and taking your mind off all the worries of the world, these socks will surely delight any retiree.

23. Potty Putter Toilet Golf

Looking for a unique gift for a golf-loving retiree? After all, it’s not uncommon for retired people to hit the links whenever they can. Now, they can enjoy the game from the comfort of their favorite seat.

For years to come, this hilarious gift will provide ample conversation for the newly retired golfer in your life. The ‘gag’ in retirement gag gifts really comes into play with this one.

24. Retirement Apron

This Retirement Apron for Kitchen is just the gift you’ve been looking for. For retirees who love to cook, this two-pocket apron will surely bring a smile to their faces. In addition to its high-quality fabric, it is also machine-washable, making it a great kitchen accessory.

25. A Personalized Bobblehead

You can turn a photo of a retiree into a 3D figurine with this gift. The 8″ tall custom bobblehead is handcrafted from resin and hand-painted. Honestly, this isn’t too shabby for $54.

26. Retired Warning Retirement Signs

Let your retiree know that retirement is a time to kick back, relax, and enjoy themselves. Designed from durable plastic, this hilarious sign can be used indoors or outdoors.

27. Sh*t That I Should Probably Do Now That I Am Retired Notebook

When you retire, you get to let your partner provide you with endless lists of things to do since you can no longer say you have no time. With this notebook, the retiree can fill it with tasks like “cleaning the gutters,” “painting the house,” and “fixing the upstairs bathroom.”

28. Retirement Survival Kit

You can give this Novelty Retirement Survival Kit In A Can to a friend, loved one, or coworker as a fun gift. Each can is packed with souvenirs that we’re sure will bring a smile to anyone’s face like a watch, globe, puzzle, and even a penny that they can put towards their retirement fund.

29. License to Chill Certificate

Having trouble finding the perfect gift? Don’t worry. This certificate is humorous and will only set you back $6. It’s a quick and easy last-minute gift he or she will love..

30. It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere T-Shirt

With this T-shirt, the retiree can channel their inner Jimmy Buffet. Taking inspiration from the Buffet-Alan Jackson duet, this shirt promises a frosty beverage to everyone around you.

Plus, with time zones, they enjoy themselves whenever they please.

31. What You Don’t Know About Retirement Quiz Book

With this book, retirees will be able to celebrate this milestone with much laughter. In this fun quiz book, we poke fun at aging and celebrate retirement by making fun of growing older.

32. A Wise Woman Once Said: “I’m Outta Here” Tote Bag

Is there something you can do to make moving all your stuff out of the office much easier? How about a tote bag?

To help your retiree clear out their office space, you can give them this handy tote bag. Best of all, there’s no need for banker boxes.

33. Warning I Am a Retired Individual Frame

Retirees have stories to tell, and they have all the time in the world to tell them. If you are looking for retirement gag gifts that will make the recipient chuckle, this is the gift for you.

34. Funny Retirement Coasters

After all the retirement gift sets for beverages, here comes a set of coasters. There are funny quotes such as, “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off,” and “I’m retired.”. Do it yourself,” and “The question isn’t at what age I want to retire. It’s at what income.”

Retirees will enjoy these coasters while making sure no one gets a ring on the table.

35. Personalized Retirement Caricature Guest Book

Give your coworker a caricature they’ll never forget as they enter their golden years. With thousands of messages from friends and colleagues wishing them well, this one features a funny drawing of them front and center.

36. Senior Moments Decision Spinner

On the first day of retirement, what should the retired person do? How about a nap? Driving at a really slow speed? Watching TV? You can help them decide with this funny spinner for under $3.

37.  Later Traitor Necklace

Women will love this retirement gift. The thoughtfulness is evident, as is some sass that feels justified after your BFF ditches you at work.

38. Retirement IRA Piggy Bank

They need to save a little (very little) now that they’ve claimed retirement benefits and their IRAs. There’s no better way than by opening an IRA account for retirement. They will also remember the little deductions each week that brought them to their best years.

39. Quitter Coffee Mug

Early mornings and traffic jams to get to work by 8 a.m. are over when you leave the workforce. Your jealousy of your retiring colleague is understandable. A Quitter Mug is creative, funny, and sentimental. Plus, a funny, practical gift is always a good idea.

Basically, it’s a retirement card in a mug.

40. The Useless Machine

Retirement means that the retiree will have a lot of time on their hands. Maybe this useless box can help with that.

How does it work? Well, nothing, but something at the same time. It will be a fun challenge for those who like fiddling with things

41. No Salespeople Sign

It is likely that the newly retired will spend a great deal of time at home during their retirement years. As such, unwanted Visitors can be a nuisance to anyone relaxing at home. Thankfully, keeping their day peaceful is easier with this sign.

The handcrafted, painted wood sign lets people know that other than friends and deliveries aren’t welcome.

42. Florida Travel Guide

Everyone who retires moves to Florida, right? This joke gift pokes fun at the tradition of people relocating to the Sunshine State during through golden years. To be honest, though, it’s mostly because we’re jealous that we’re making fun of it.

43. This Beer Tastes A Lot Like I’m Not Going To Work Tomorrow

With this 15 oz beer mug, retirees can savor their favorite beer — without having to worry about being a little foggy the next day. Dishwasher-safe and excellently clear, this 15 oz beer glass is perfect for displaying their favorite drinks.

44. Officially Retired Bookmark

A funny retirement bookmark is a great way to convey your best wishes for retirement. Inscribed on the bookmark is “Officially retired 2023, not my problem anymore”. In particular, it would make a great retirement gift for avid readers.

45. “I’m Done” Fork

This fork stainless steel fork says it all with the engraving “‘I’m Done.”

Additionally, the classic design allows mixing and matching with their existing flatware. It can even be used every day.

46. Cutting Board Set

Perfect gift for the home chef, this retirement cutting board combo set includes 4 bamboo tableware items, a cutting board, a soup spoon, a slotted spoon, a spatula, and a soup spoon. What makes this retirement gift so funny are the ingredients, like 3 cups or relaxation and a handful of hobbies.

47. Bingo Daubers

This is a great prank gift for a retired person who doesn’t take things too seriously. Even coworkers with the least sense of humor may appreciate it. And, who knows? Maybe they’ll actually pick-up a new hobby.

48. Retirment Dice

Made of Stainless Steel, this Retirement dice with six choices; putter around, read a book, go fishing, get a snack, take a nap, or go for a drive. Hopefully, when they’re bored or not sure what to do, this dice can help them make that decision.

49. Officially Retired Retirement Party Preferred Parking Permit

This Officially Retired Preferred Parking Permit may seem like it’s in poor taste. But, if the reitree has a sense of humor, they’ll get a good chuckle from this gift. Plus, it’s only around $6.

50. First Christmas Tree Retired Ornament

Personally, I’m a stickler for unique Christmas tree ornament. So, I would appreciate this gift if I received it at my retirement party. Regardless, every year they hang this ceramic ornament on their tree, they’ll be reminded how long they’ve been out of the workforce.

51. Retirment Tumbler

Here’s another whimsical retirement gift that it also practical.

In addition to its leak-proof cap, this vacuum-insulated bottle is made from food-grade stainless steel and contains no BPA. For up to 9 hours, their drink will stay hot or cold

52. Retirement Blanket

This blanket will remind the retiree of the rules of retirement, such as no clocks, wake up smiling, and make no memories. Not only is this blanket suitable for beds and sofas, but it can also be used outdoors, such as for picnics.

53. Work Release Shirt

This orange shirt can be worn at their retirement party as a gag. After that, it will let everyone know that they’re enjoying the retirement lifestyle.

54. Custom Ammo Can

Are you still searching for the perfect retirement gift? Consider this custom ammo can as a gift. In addition to the name engraving, you can add snacks, gag gifts, or anything else you desire! The best funny retirement gift is one you create yourself. What could be better?

 

FAQs

How much money should you give a coworker for retirement?

It’s standard to give $5-$20 per person as a monetary gift in a collective group effort. But you may want to match the amount others give as well. Generally, the amount can be anywhere between $30 and $50 if it is just you.

Take into account your relationship with the person. Are they close friend or acquaintance? Take into account their years at the business, the work you did together, and what else is being done to recognize them.

What is the best gift to give a coworker who is retiring?

Choosing a gift that makes the retiring coworker feel special and reflects their value is the best thing you can do for them. It’s a great choice if it’s something that brings good memories, and if it fits their interests, hobbies, or goals, it’s even better.

Give a gift that will be appreciated by the recipient, not one you want for yourself. If you’re unsure, ask their friends, family, or coworkers. Also consider sending a heartfelt note, a donation to a charity they like, or tickets to something they’ll love, as well as an online or in-person class subscription.

Where can I find a unique retirement gift idea?

Well, you can start with this blog post. You can, however, look at these tips and write down what you know about the person if you’re still stuck. Also, you can ask their friends, family, and colleagues what they might enjoy.

What do you give a man for a retirement party?

Consider the man’s hobbies and interests as an individual. Take into account his retirement goals as well.

It can go a long way if you give something that shows you’re paying attention! A few generic ideas include personalized watches, liquor glasses, tumblers, grill sets, golf clubs, wallets, travel bags, journals, and collaborative memory books.

What do you give a woman for a retirement party?

In the same way, consider the woman’s interests and hobbies as an individual. Don’t forget to think about her retirement goals. You can make a positive impact by giving something that shows you care.

There are many generic gift ideas that can be used: engraved watches, a wine or liquor glass, a coffee mug, a hammock, or a journal.

The post 54 Funny Retirement Gifts That Will Make Everyone Laugh appeared first on Due.

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