Behold the BelfieStick, an Even Bigger Bummer Than the Selfie Stick

Behold the BelfieStick, an Even Bigger Bummer Than the Selfie Stick
Image credit: BelfieStick
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Good Lord, imagine the accidents.

This just in from the Department of Bummer, What Have We Become?! Belfies -- butt selfies snapped from behind -- are a real thing and they’re a real pain in the badonkadonk to pull off. Thus the BelfieStick is real, too. Sad but(t) true.

They started from the bottom, now they’re here...for only $79.99.

Related: There's Now a Course on the Art of Selfies

Blame bodacious Internet-breaker Kim Kardashian. We do. She sparked the bootylicious belfie craze that can’t stop, won’t stop. Though we wish it would, right along with the dronie, the helfie, the shelfie, the welfie and, lest we should leave narcissistic farmers out, the felfie.  

In case you’re still trying to wrap your head around what this thing is, a BelfieStick is just like a selfie stick, those wretched Poles of Narcissus sticking around our selfies, littering CES. The BelfieStick -- backed by a 100 percent satisfaction guarantee or your money back and bearing this gem for a tagline: “Finally, a solution to all your back problems!” -- is a retractable, bendable two-foot pole that lets users snap pics of their bottoms from up to 40 inches away. With this tool in your grip, its makers, the helpful folks from On.com, promise you’ll capture “the perfect butt selfie every time,” whatever that is.  

Related: Just How Long Has 'Selfie' Been Around, Anyway?

The lazy belfie-snapper in you will appreciate the rechargeable battery action and “Easy Access Bluetooth Button.” It’s such a cinch, you won’t have to bust your butt to get the belfie you’ve always wanted. Just mount your smartphone on the non-slip grip rubber stick, aim low and go.

If you’re in the market for a BelfieStick -- shhh, your secret is safe with us -- you can preorder one here. Hurry up before they sell out. You bet your backside they probably will.

As for us, no thanks. We’ll turn the other cheek on this asinine fad.

Related: In Defense of the Selfie

Edition: July 2017

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