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In the 1920s and '30s, my grandfather was a successfulsmall-town merchant in Poland. When times were hard, many whofrequented his general store fell into debt. Grandpa never sued andoften extended credit to (or bartered with) these customers. Hedidn't have to do this; in many ways, it made nosense.
In the early 1940s, the Germans occupied his hometown. Mygrandfather was Jewish. It was then that these customers rememberedhis kindness-by hiding, feeding and saving my grandfather and hisfamily from extermination.
Perhaps it's a dramatic example, but it's why I believe inthe law of business karma-what goes around, comes around. To thosewho say, "in the long run, there is no long run": yourshortsightedness will cost you.
It's a rare deal in which two sides will never meetagain--business circles can be small. Think twice before you"take no prisoners." You never know when you'll needsomething from the opponent you're about to fleece orhumiliate.
A speaker and attorney in Los Angeles, marc Diener is theauthor of Deal Power: 6 Foolproof Steps to Making Deals of AnySize (Owl Books/Henry Holt). You can reach him at MarcDiener@aol.com
Mind Your Manners
You don't have to be gruff or combative to get your way inbusiness. Sure, it works for some, but I'd take rationaldiscussion over posturing any day.
It's been said that listening is the least expensive concessionyou can make. Don't interrupt. Concentrate. Empathize."Seek first to understand, then to be understood," saysauthor Stephen Covey. Ask questions that begin with"why." I'm amazed at how easy it can be to make adeal, once you find out what the other side wants. The reverse alsoholds. Your opponents are more likely to work with you if thereasons for your demands are clearly articulated.
When you do cut a great deal, don't rub the other side'snose in it, or brag so loudly that it gets back to them. Let themsave face. If they need one, give them an excuse. Talk about howthings have changed. Or point to some third-party standard offairness. First-class negotiators get what they want and leave theother side feeling like a winner.
After you shake on it, you still want the other side to consideryou someone they'd like to work with again. A challengingopponent of mine brought this point home at the end of aparticularly torturous negotiation. When it was over, he stuck outhis hand, smiled and said, "Closing is a beautifulthing." At first, I was stunned, but I had to admit he wasright. Did this one remark make us best friends? Of course not. Butit did clear the air, should we meet again.
