6 Leadership Lessons We Learned From the Late John Ruhlin John's approach to leadership was never about ego — it was always about making a difference.
By Susan Drumm Edited by Mark Klekas
This story originally appeared on Under 30 CEO
It's hard to put into words what the late John Ruhlin meant to those of us who knew him. He wasn't just a business partner or a friend — he was the embodiment of enlightened leadership. His impact went far beyond the success of his company, Giftology. It was in the way he showed up for people, leading with purpose, generosity and a deep commitment to making others feel seen.
John's approach to leadership was never about ego; it was always about making a difference. He had this simple but profound way of asking, "What can I do for you?" It wasn't just a phrase but how he lived his life. It's a question every leader should ask daily, one I think about often as I reflect on the legacy John left behind.
John lived out qualities that go beyond traditional leadership and focus on creating profound, lasting impact. Reflecting on his life, I see how he naturally embodied each of these traits day in and day out and what lessons he taught us along the way.
1. Lead with purpose, not ego
At the heart of enlightened leadership is a mission bigger than yourself. John's leadership wasn't about his success — it was about creating meaningful connections and helping others. He led with humility and putting people first.
Related: 3 Principles of People-First Leadership
He treated everyone equally, whether they were waiters or CEOs. People flew in from all over the world for his celebration of life, which illustrates the profound impact his mission-driven life had on others.
Your leadership opportunity: In your next interaction, ask, "How can I serve the people I lead?" Enlightened leadership is about making others feel seen.
2. Elevate the potential of others
Enlightened leaders share the spotlight. John saw potential in people long before they saw it in themselves. He didn't just encourage them — he created space for them to thrive.
John encouraged his team to think differently. For example, he guided a quiet team member to step up in meetings, nudging them to speak. Over time, that person became one of the company's most confident leaders. John's enlightened leadership helped others grow beyond their own limits.
Your leadership opportunity: Are you creating space for your team to grow? In your next meeting, ask yourself, "Whose potential can I help unlock today?"
3. Focus on your strengths, empower others
John's self-awareness was central to his enlightened leadership. He knew his strengths and focused on where he made the most significant impact. Rather than trying to do it all, he let others excel where he couldn't, including with his business partner Rod Neuenschwander.
This wasn't a limitation — it was his genius. By stepping back, he empowered others to lead where they shined.
Your leadership opportunity: Identify one task you can delegate to someone else in your next meeting. "Where can I step back and let others lead?"
4. Never stop growing
John never stopped growing. He was always reading, listening to podcasts, and seeking out mentors to challenge his thinking. He knew leadership wasn't about "staying the same " but constant evolution.
John's humility set him apart. For him, it wasn't how but who. He was willing to admit what he didn't know and actively sought advice from those who could teach him more.
Related: To Grow Into Ourselves, We Must First Embrace The Unknown
Your leadership opportunity: Find one area to grow today. "Who can help me improve:" Enlightened leaders are lifelong learners.
5. Respond with intention, not reaction
John's ability to pause in the heat of the moment was a hallmark of his enlightened leadership. He showed empathy and vulnerability but always took a moment to reflect before responding, which allowed him to navigate conflicts with clarity.
Even in the most challenging discussions, John would pause, take a breath, and respond calmly, turning conflicts into productive conversations.
Your leadership opportunity: In your next difficult conversation, take 10 seconds before responding and ask, "Am I reacting or responding with intention?" That pause could change the outcome.
6. Be curious and lead with empathy
Curiosity and empathy are at the core of enlightened leadership. John didn't just want to know what people did–he tried to understand who they were. His emotional intelligence helped him connect deeply, building trust even in challenging situations.
As fun aside, John insisted on using FaceTime instead of a regular phone call because he wanted to see the person, not just hear their voice. This small act made others feel valued and allowed him to connect on a deeper level. I smile thinking about that.
Your leadership opportunity: In your next conversation, ask a question that shows genuine curiosity. "Am I really seeing the person behind the role?"
John's Enlightened Leadership: A Blueprint for Us All
John Ruhlin's leadership was a living example of enlightened leadership grounded in generosity, self-awareness, and a commitment to helping others grow. His impact wasn't just measured by success; it was felt in the lives he touched.
Challenge: Take five minutes today to reflect on your own leadership. Ask yourself, "Am I leading with purpose and heart?" John's example reminds us all that enlightened leadership is about making a meaningful difference.
