Having Trouble Speaking Up in Meetings? Try This Strategy. It can be difficult to teach and train and to collaborate and share in meetings. Here are some tips to help you speak up.
By John Rampton Edited by Mark Klekas
Key Takeaways
- Feel more confident when talking in your next work meeting, regardless of whether you're an introvert or shy.
- How to discover your unique voice and overcome any irrational fears you've developed.
- You can shift your mindset to approach the situation differently.
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Meetings are inevitable — regardless of what industry you are in. The best thing about meetings? When they're productive, meetings allow team members to discuss projects, upcoming needs, team goals and exchange ideas.
The problem is that you might find it hard to share your thoughts in this type of environment — regardless of whether you've started with a new company or feel shy. For some, this goes beyond shyness.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders; American Psychiatric Association (DSM-5) defines public speaking anxiety (PSA) as a social anxiety disorder. It is estimated that 15% to 30% of the general population suffers from it. And public speaking anxiety interferes with daily activities such as work and education for up to 10% of people with PSA.
Related: 8 Tips Introverts Need to Network Effectively in 2023
You can, however, use these tips to feel more confident when talking in your next work meeting, regardless of whether you're an introvert, shy or suffer from PSA.
Why is it Difficult to Speak Up in Meetings?
It's natural to feel nervous about speaking up during a meeting at work for a variety of reasons, including:
- Your introversion makes it hard for you to speak in front of others, and you tend to concentrate on your own thoughts.
- When you work in a meeting, coworkers outperform others' contributions, so getting your point across is hard.
- There is a fear of offending others or saying something foolish that others may disagree with.
Meetings in a virtual environment can present new challenges as well. For example, you may have difficulty reading social and physical cues on a video call. In addition, many members of virtual teams complain about not having enough time to establish formal relationships with each other. Let's also remember that it can be common to experience technical glitches and scheduling difficulties due to time zones. It's no surprise that speaking up in meetings can feel intimidating for all of these reasons.
Related: Does Public Speaking Make You Nervous? Here Are 10 Secrets to Help You Pull It Off Like a Pro.
The Importance of Speaking Up in Meetings
Although these hurdles exist, it is still helpful to grasp the importance of meetings.
In a work meeting, team members discuss plans, share thoughts and ideas and provide status updates. In most cases, if you have been invited to a meeting, the person in charge views your attendance as an asset. As such, if you're unwilling to speak up in a meeting, the individual will not be able to learn much from your perspective and experience.
Expressing your thoughts in a meeting can be one of the most effective ways of building relationships. When you work on what you sound like to others — you'll be better able to share insights, updates and demonstrate your knowledge and skills in a collaborative environment.
What if you don't think your idea is complete or coherent? Well, that's probably irrational. Sharing it could help someone else's wheels turn, resulting in a team-wide solution.
There is no doubt about it. The benefits of being heard are numerous. Your visibility goes up, your influence grows and your credibility grows — all of which help you excel at work. So staying silent in a meeting does not make sense for your own professional development.
How to Speak Up in Meetings
With that said, here are some effective strategies to gain more confidence when speaking during in-person and remote meetings:
Get Your Barings.
The first step? To make yourself more comfortable, determine your position or situation relative to your surroundings — especially if you're new to an organization.
Take note of what others are doing well.
In meetings, look for someone who communicates well. Pay attention to their tone, volume and speed of speech. Do they have strong body language or eye contact? Observe how others respond to it.
Use some of the elements that mentors and others excel at — and practice, then use them on your own.
Keep your body language in mind.
Keep your body language in mind — even if you aren't contributing to the meeting. It may appear as if you are uninterested or defensive if you adopt that nervous, hunched-up body language.
The best approach is to maintain an open stance that conveys confidence. You can achieve this by:
- Leaning forward
- Placing your hands on the table
- Making eye contact.
- Smiling
Related: This Body-Language Expert's 'Triangle' Method Will Help You Catch a Liar in the Act
Make sure you ask questions.
It will take some time for you to become accustomed to hearing your own voice during meetings. Asking questions is one of the easiest ways to accomplish this.
You can start by raising your hand and asking someone to clarify or elaborate.
Be attentive to what is being said.
Some of you might not want to hear this. There are a lot of people who talk nonsense at meetings. As a matter of fact, Doodle identified some top meeting irritants. And 46% of respondents cited "talking about nothing for extended periods" at the top of the list.
So, the next time you're in a meeting, listen carefully to what others are saying. It's likely you'll hear some people talking for the sake of talking, not listening to others and spouting some gibberish.
This arena, however, is probably less eloquent than Oxford University Debating Society. So, your expectations may be much higher than they actually are.
Related: Who's Responsible for a Toxic Workplace? If You Do Any of These 3 Things, Look in the Mirror.
Prepare in advance.
To prepare mentally, you must understand the context of the meeting. For example, is your team getting together informally to brainstorm ideas? Or are you presenting data to key stakeholders in a formal meeting?
During a meeting, you may find it helpful to open your meeting notes and drink some water if you feel nervous. You will feel less nervous if you prepare in advance for your meetings, and you will remain focused during the discussion. You can also save time at meetings by showing up prepared, especially if you tend to ramble nervously.
Another way to prepare? Literally, speak up before the meeting. Among the things you can do is talk to a colleague about this topic to see what they think. Alternatively, you can practice your speech in front of the mirror at home.
Shift your mindset.
Want to be more productive in your next meeting? Try shifting your mindset around speaking up — for you and for others.
According to an HBR article written by Tijs Besieux, Amy C. Edmondson, and Femke de Vries, you can achieve this by:
- Shifting from "My idea may be incomplete" to "It could be the source of someone else's breakthrough." Instead of censoring yourself, "Recognize that your half-baked idea could be the first step in a team breakthrough," they explained. Imagine it as a suggestion that the team can build upon. "For example, if you propose to gather more user feedback on a prototype, it could lead to a pivot in terms of what the final product looks like."
- Changing from "It's probably not my place to speak up" to "Silence is not in the team's best interest." Do not underestimate how valuable your perspective is. "If you believe you may have an opinion or piece of information that could be material to the success of the project or the organization, say it."
- Shifting from "I want to sound intelligent" to "This is really about the collective intelligence of my team so we can all succeed." Approach your next meeting like a puzzle everyone must solve together. "Each team member holds unique pieces to that puzzle, based on their different expertise and experiences," they said. "With this framing in mind, will you still hold back your ideas?" Speaking up in a meeting isn't about standing out, it's about sharing and processing information on the topic.
Build confidence by taking action.
There's no way around it. Taking action will help you build your confidence. It is important to speak up early to build momentum. However, the idea that you must build confidence before speaking up is common among many people. Research shows that taking action builds confidence, according to Katty Kay and Claire Shipman in their book The Confidence Code.
In short, it is better to start now rather than wait until you are ready. By taking action quickly and without overthinking, you will gain confidence.
Getting your point across in meetings is as easy as ABC.
- A - Attention
- B - Breathe
- C - Communication
Following these simple steps will help you speak up once you have gained confidence. Again, listen to what others are saying. Before speaking, listen actively. In addition to being good etiquette, it will also make it easier for you to know what to say to whom and to whom not to say it.
Breathing is the second step. You will feel more confident if you breathe. You can also regulate your nervous system by taking deep breaths. And your voice will also benefit from controlled breathing.
Lastly, communicate your ideas by:
- Staying away from jargon and technical words as well as big and fancy words that don't add value.
- Keeping what you're saying straightforward and concise.
- Making your points relevant to people's emotions.
- Backing up your ideas with data or proof.
Discover your unique voice.
"Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind — even if your voice shakes," American activist Maggie Kuhn famously said.
Leverage your expertise.
Perhaps you can speak to how young people might respond to a particular initiative if you are young. It may be possible for you to add context to the discussion if you follow industry trends.
You likely have a more unique perspective than you realize. Discover what this might be, and make the most of it.
Related: Learning to Speak With Clarity
During the meeting, contribute early on.
If possible, say something in the first ten minutes — even if it is just a question or an agreement. As a result, your self-doubt will be prevented from taking hold.
Decide how many times you will speak.
You should challenge yourself to speak three times during a meeting, according to Joel Garfinkle, an author and executive coach.
- Once to make a prepared point.
- Another is to ask a question.
- Also, to share an idea that comes up in the meeting.
Personalize it, but avoid weak language.
Feel free to share your opinion and experience. Additionally, you should be cautious about using words like maybe, perhaps, just or possibly.
Instead, use phrases such as "What's important here is…" or "In my experience..."