Microsoft and Meta Veteran Reveals What Mentees Get Wrong About Mentorship
Mentees are making a common mistake, says engineer Fiona Fung.
Key Takeaways
- Fiona Fung is an engineering lead at Anthropic and a former engineer at Microsoft and Meta.
- In a new interview, Fung explained that mentees shouldn’t make the mistake of waiting for mentors to define the relationship and agenda.
- She urged mentees to set explicit goals for what they want to achieve, whether it’s a promotion or clarity on career direction.
Mentees often assume that simply pairing up with a senior person is enough to transform their careers. However, an experienced leader argues that the real leverage comes from how proactively and thoughtfully the mentee shows up.
Fiona Fung, an engineering lead at Anthropic and a former engineer at Microsoft and Meta, explained on a recent episode of The Peterman Pod podcast that mentees shouldn’t make the mistake of waiting for mentors to define the relationship and agenda.
“For all the folks out there looking for a mentoring relationship, I would say set really explicit goals for what it is that you’re looking to receive out of the mentoring relationship,” Fung said on the podcast.
Fung emphasized that the mentee’s mindset, preparation and willingness to receive feedback determine if a mentorship actually works. She said that effective mentorship starts with the mentee taking ownership of the relationship, rather than waiting for the mentor to take the lead.
Related: How a Good Mentor Can Change the Trajectory of Your Business — and Make You Happier at Work
Mentoring research backs up this claim. Guides on how to be a good mentee constantly stress focusing on specific skills or outcomes as goals. These guides also emphasize clearly voicing what success looks like for the mentee. This could include a promotion, role change, clarity on career direction or developing a new skill.
A subtle mistake many mentees make is treating mentoring sessions as status updates. They talk about task lists and recent work. Fung suggests moving status reporting into asynchronous formats, like shared docs or chats. That way, live one-on-ones can focus on deeper questions.
When Fung meets a new employee, she asks what they look for in a manager and what motivates them. She insists there are no right or wrong answers. “I use that to learn what is important to someone, because it’s different for everyone,” Fung said on the podcast.
Different mentees value different forms of support, she said. Some want opportunities to grow, others want stability and still others want to develop their technical skills.
Related: I Mentor First-Time Entrepreneurs — These Are the 4 Unseen Benefits I Gained By Giving Back
Fung has benefitted from having mentors give her candid advice. One piece of feedback, which Fung calls some of the best advice she has ever received, has been about processing criticism from higher-ups. Fung’s mentor told her to stay in “read-only” mode during tough feedback conversations. In other words, to listen without immediately defending or questioning the critique. The mentor also advised that Fung process the feedback for at least a day before responding to it.
“You may have questions, but save it for another day, because it’s already uncomfortable enough for that person,” Fung said on the podcast.
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Key Takeaways
- Fiona Fung is an engineering lead at Anthropic and a former engineer at Microsoft and Meta.
- In a new interview, Fung explained that mentees shouldn’t make the mistake of waiting for mentors to define the relationship and agenda.
- She urged mentees to set explicit goals for what they want to achieve, whether it’s a promotion or clarity on career direction.
Mentees often assume that simply pairing up with a senior person is enough to transform their careers. However, an experienced leader argues that the real leverage comes from how proactively and thoughtfully the mentee shows up.
Fiona Fung, an engineering lead at Anthropic and a former engineer at Microsoft and Meta, explained on a recent episode of The Peterman Pod podcast that mentees shouldn’t make the mistake of waiting for mentors to define the relationship and agenda.
